i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
