I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
