Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
