Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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