I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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