I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
