Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
