question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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