Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Do vagina's smell?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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