D3 body, D1 cock
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
you had me at cake vodka
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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