today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
