I just saw a hot homeless man
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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