best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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