just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
