Please, let me fuck your mom
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
this just has baby written all over it
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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