Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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