even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
