I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
