Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
