I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
