I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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