No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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