she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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