so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
