she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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