Come see our sink grown plant.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
