normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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