Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
