john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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