And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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