Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Randomize
