I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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