I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
if only i could text you this smell
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
