Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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