So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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