i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
