Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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