At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
And then he peed in my hair
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