okay pat passed out under dana's car
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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