That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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