FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You may now shotgun with the bride
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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