Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
