just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
