My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
