I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
