Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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