checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
