Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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