yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Just pee around me
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
