While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
