You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
